Sunday, July 30, 2006

i do not see how you people seriously think that the tech guy does not love my emails and my requests for computer help

From: Laura
Sent: Sunday, July 30, 2006 9:33 PM
To: Derek
Subject: a call for help

my dash key was not working. i thought there would be a cool ranch dorito piece stuck under it. i also thought that keyboard keys lifted off easily so that one could remove such pieces of junk food and then immediately replace them.

well, it seems this was not the case. i would like to say that i did an exceedingly good job of ripping the key off of the keyboard. my skills at replacing it, however, seem to be lacking.

but i figure this is a good thing! now i have an excuse to come in and see you just as soon as possible! ohhhh derek! think of the fun that will be had!

anyways, i thought that if i emailed you in advance, then you could get whatever was needed, and then i am back in town on monday and tuesday of next week and if you are around, then i could get it fixed, tho i suppose that not having a dash key for a couple of weeks is really not a big deal at all, particularly if i am not even sure i am taking my computer with me when i leave and it seems like it is probably a stupid idea for me to do so (i am going out to LA to drive back to cville with molly).

anyways. that is all. hope you are well!

yes, i was just looking at this too

foxfields is sept. 24. and tickets go on sale in 2 days. think i should buy my tickets now? to be safe? never can be too safe.

in other news, anyone want to do anything for fall break? i realized i have got a $100 flight voucher on united, and $75 on american and i need to use both of those at some point before spring break. i always forget to use those darned things. hell, maybe i'll just use them and fly for fun. few things funner than just going to an airport, getting thru security, sitting at the gate for a few hours to just sit on the plane for a while, and then going thru it all again at the other end. sounds like a plan for next weekend even.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

how am i supposed to waste the whole day w/o moving from my couch

if there is NOTHING worth watching for more than 2 minutes at a time on tv?!?!? i mean, most of these shows aren't even worth watching for 2 minutes, but i am making a very concerted effort not to shower.

i mean, i am TRYING, with all the effort i can muster, to watch "from justin to kelly." except the entire basic premises of the plot upsets me too much to watch for more than 45 seconds. well, i think that what upsets me is the basic premises of the plot. i haven't watched for more than 90 seconds at a time, so i might be missing something.

old news, but still good news

CONGRATULATIONS TO LEXI AND AARON! i can't believe i didn't say anything sooner. i have complained that she doesn't give more detail on the engagement, but when she did tell me the story, i didn't get it anyways. (she had an early appointment one saturday morning, and when she got to the car there was a note on the windshield that said "look in the tunk." it is crucial that it is spelled like that. and the ring was in the trunk and he asked her to marry him.) well, i googled it and it is a simpsons reference and i think it was a perfect way to do it. also, i would like to give props to aaron b/c i was wondering how he would be at all surprising/creative since lexi had picked the ring with him and knew it was arriving in town that weekend and all, but i think he still managed to ask in a way that was perfect and unique. and very them.

anyways, this all brings up a moderatly funny story. lexi went to facebook to change her relationship status to "engaged." after she did this, aaron got an email that said "Lexi K. has requested to add you as her fiance - Accept or Reject." we think that's pretty hysterical. and of course i am now tempted to start just adding people as my fiancee. so if you get such an email in the next few days, think nothing of it. i have just gotten carried away.

i ramble, don't i?

hm. i think i do.



for those of you who did not know, my AC has been out in my DC apartment for over a month now. and basically, every monday we would get an email saying that it would be fixed by the next monday. and then the next monday, after we had all arrived home eager to be greeted by a rush of cold air, only to be sorely disappointed, we would get the same email. and so it went for many days of the DC summer on the 8th floor of the cosmopolitan. oh, and i was not allowed to complain or take the landlord up on her offers to stay with her b/c i am a subletter who is not supposed to be there and even tho i was the only person living in the apartment for the entire month, i was also the only person to whom her offers did not apply. alas. but it was really ok.

anyways, it got fixed yesterday!! it is very exciting. of course, i only have another week. but i am also getting back a month's worth of rent (assuming i do not get screwed) and it is very easy to buy me with money, so i only feel slightly put-out by the whole situation.

so really, the whole point of that email was just to share that the AC is working. i do not know how i said so much. oops.

in case you're wondering

about the outcome of my class selection process, well it turns out that if i had looked at the times during which those two classes i complained about 2Ls taking my spots are offered, i would have seen that they are at the same times as other classes for which i am already signed up. so i did not get my first couple of choices. oh well. i got some other stuff and i figure that i will just wait until drop/add to start figuring that out. i am not very concerned. even tho i will be taking 7 classes first semester. i am a moron. hm. yes, must think about that at some point too. later. yes, later.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

real email i just sent my father

also, the stuff about the hotel is fine. i can’t quite figure out what the days in advance thing is, since it doesn’t seem to be a year, but that is really irrelevant. the fact of the matter is that i am far crazier than anyone else, and while i think that a lot of that is b/c of the firm lunch we went to where they told us to book our hotels in advance, i also think that some of that is b/c i grew up with you. (i’m quite sure i’ve told you this sort of thing before, and i mean it as a compliment. or as close as you can come to paying someone a compliment while telling them that they are responsible for the fact that you are a neurotic freakshow.)

Monday, July 24, 2006

is this a good thing or a bad thing?

so yesterday in the newspaper, there was an article about something that i have worked on this summer. not substantively or anything, but still, when i saw it, i was kinda excited and i thought, "i know about that!" then later that evening, i saw someone's away message, which linked to that same article as an example of what he works on (and why his friends never see him.) so the first thing i was wondering is if we both work on the same side of the case, as in this guy just needs oodles of legal help since this is all a pretty huge enterprise, or if he's working for the other "side" (which has quotes b/c it isn't litigation). but either way, i just didn't think it could possibly be a good thing when we're all working on the same cases. or is this "networking" and how we "build relationships" in the legal community? hm. yes, well i don't think anyone was guessing i would last long enough for that sort of stuff to matter.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

more of laura and the bar, neuroses a full year in advance

the fact that the bar is this week is making me think a bit about what i will be like in a year. it will not be pretty. it's kinda hard to imagine b/c the only person taking the bar this week that i have any contact with is not crazy. i don't know if he is only not crazy on his breaks, but since he is taking breaks, i imagine he is in a far healthier place than i will be. i have already mapped out my days. i will go for the 4 hours of bar classes, and then i will spend the next 12-14 hours in the library. i will not be studying. i imagine that i will spend approximately 2 hours a day twirling my hair, 3 hours a day wandering around the LS, 4 hours a day hyperventilating, 2 hours trying to figure out what i want to eat, and then some assorted time IMing and emailing and whatnot. hopefully those calculations are slightly off b/c i have just done the math and that does not leave much time for studying.

anyways. so i called my mom the other day and just mentioned this. well only the part that in a year i would be an emotional disaster area. and she said that she had thought of that and was thinking that she should come down for the week before the bar TO MITIGATE MY CRAZY! yes, my mother is now planning a year in advance for the crazy. much like i am being crazy a year in advance. i'm not sure that having my mom around would help at all, but i think that's pretty great that she thought of that. oh, and she also wants to be there to cook me eggs the morning of the exam. she has some whole thing about eating eggs the morning of big exams. she actually thinks it's her fault that i didn't do well on my first LSAT b/c she wasn't there to make me eggs. forget the fact that i think i made my own eggs the morning of my LSAT and what really did me in was taking 40 units of insulin when 4 would have sufficed. but that is all irrelevant to the point of the story. which was my mom and the mitigation of crazy. i love that.

in related news, i was looking for a "good luck on the bar" e-card to send to my friends. the only thing i found was at anonymouslawfirm. and it reads, "Anonymous Lawyer wishing you luck on the bar exam. Because it's not just a test of legal knowledge. It's a test of your value as a human being." i would like to take this opportunity to say that if anyone sends me that card w/in the 2 week period b/f the bar next summer, i will hunt you down and kill you. probably after the february bar b/c i will probably start crying and be unable to take the bar in july, so i'll need the months b/t july and february to regain my sense of worth and to study again. it is acceptable up to two weeks before the bar. there is a chance that it would still be ok after that, but so help me god, if you try, it will not go over well for you.

who in kalamazoo reads routinely?

i'm sorry, but i'm a very nosy person.

happy birthday!

ok, so this is the stupid story i have been thinking about posting all week, but have been too lazy.

so early in the week, probably monday, i was leaving to go to work, and i noticed pink "happy 1st birthday" decorations on the door of the condo's fitness room. so my first thought was that this was just silly. who is going to have their child's first birthday party in the condo's fitness room! you are terrible parents!

that night, when i got back home from work, i noticed that they were actually all over the foyer area of the building. so i had my first thought about stupid parents, but they were followed up by the fact that this child is turning 1. they're not going to notice this or have any idea what is going on. this is just stupid.

the next day, i decided that i kinda found it endearing. i mean, i still think it's stupid for a 1 year old. but i can totally see myself doing this for someone's 30th birthday. right? i mean, that's a pretty good idea.

the next day, i started to wonder why these decorations were still up.

about thursday afternoon, it dawned on me. IT'S THE BUILDING'S FIRST BIRTHDAY! THE CONDO HAS NOW BEEN OPEN FOR ONE YEAR! so at least we've done away with the retarded parents, but i'm kinda wondering about the building association.

anyways. for some reason, i found that all funny. it probably wasn't. oh well.


it's really always just a question of what i eat until i feel like barfing. tonight, BBQ pretzels. i'm sure you all recall the other week when it was cool ranch doritos. or any number of previous weeks when it was some other selection of starches flavored with something zesty. yup, i feel like barfing.

oh, and this is also why i have gained all this weight this summer. i have decided that if other people are going to put on 15 pounds b/c their firms take them to nice heavy lunches all the time, and my firm does not, well then i will gain those 15 pounds by eating entire bags of dreadfully terrible food products in a condensed period of time. and doing that over and over and over and over. and the summer is winding down, and i would like to report that i have done a very solid job on this effort. good going, laura! good going, indeed! i should probably buy my elastic-waisted suit a year in advance, so i can just wear it for the last 2 weeks of work. and i'll be starting my fall classes in my finals wardrobe. which is not a good sign. but anyways.

did anyone else....

so by this round of signing up for classes, my perfectly laid plan had been thwarted by all the bastard 2Ls who must have signed up for my spot in corporation and in trusts and estates. but i couldn't bring myself to look at the classes again. so what did i just do? i put in for the things that i wanted to take, including those that are full, and then, b/c i felt like i should put more selections down, i just added random, haphazard classes for a few more spaces. no idea when they meet or if they're full or if i can't take them b/c of classes i am already signed up for, but i just put them down. of course, the real problem is that i am planning on taking 7 classes in the fall. for 14 credits. how ridiculous is that?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

so tempting

this, right here. red envelope is my latest obsession. which would explain why i am up at 2am, even tho i decided that i would wake up early in the am to write the brief. i'm a moron. but all that aside. so this speaker bag fascinates me. i don't even ever listen to my ipod, but the thing is on sale for $15 and i am tempted to buy it or that reason alone. do you know anyone who would want one? i figure it would work for going to the pool and whatnot. or if headphones annoy you and you don't mind annoying those around you.

i'm worthless

here is what someone else has to say about his summer experience -- "I love it when I force a senior associate into agreeing with me that his argument is useless, only to realize while drafting the memo later that night that, in fact, there is a much more wonderful way to get exactly where we'd wanted to be back when we were using his lame ass approach."

yes. i am not doing anything that involves such comprehension of a legal issue. (this is my fault. not the firm's.)

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

professor eval

so i was going to post something actual in my usual rambling tone, but somehow i got sidetracked and now i'm supposed to be writing that "brief" that i should have done in the morning. but i am not.

so, for your enjoyment, a few of the comments left on Prof. Doug Leslie's Employment Law class this spring:

Comment on the method and quality of the instructor's teaching. Be specific about strengths, weaknesses, teaching techniques, congeniality of the learning environment and any suggestions for improvement.
You know what you're getting with Casefiles. Always entertaining and provocative, occasionally educational.
Doug Leslie is like that creepy uncle that comes over on Thanksgiving and weirds out the whole family. Rude, morally bankrupt, and given to stream-of-consciousness tangents that extend to well over a quarter of the allotted class time, he conducts the class like a three-ring circus where talking out of your a** is made an art form. That being said, he's a competent professor with a novel way of teaching. Doug Leslie serves to fill a niche at the law school in much the same way as there's a place in the Bible for Satan.

Comment as specifically as possible about whether the selection and organization of the materials and the emphasis of the instructor were appropriate to achieving the goals of the course.
Organization?....Goals?....Aw, that's cute....

What, if any, constructive suggestions do you have for this instructor and/or course, e.g., specific areas requiring improvement.
My problem with Prof. Leslie's class stems not so much from the instruction as the "entourage" that Prof. Leslie accumulates. Because of his participation-intensive teaching style, Leslie is a magnet for every tool in love with his or her own voice. That pissy, effeminate little guy who just loves to play devil’s advocate for the sake of playing devil’s advocate? He’s here. Oh, and that guy who immediately scours the internet for the answer to every inane and irrelevant query that enters the discussion and, not two minutes after the entire class has moved on to a more germane issue and has ceased to care, fires his hand into the air to inform the rest of us that, in fact, the statute that governs the pension plans of frozen yogurt stand workers in Montana was actually repealed in 1972? Why, he’s here too!

So, here’s my suggestion. Survivor-style Casefile Employment Law. Every week, the class gets to vote anonymously to revoke one student’s “talking privileges.” From that point on, the student that’s been “voted off” does the rest of us the service of keeping his brain-farts to himself. How does that sound? Good? And if the “exile” feels the need to speak up in order to elucidate the rest of us on some mundane legal issue, to throw his mind-feces against the wall to see what sticks, then we lower his final grade a point...Agreed?

skin of my teeth

so i wound up signing up for some interviews for the fall. i knew the deadline was yesterday. i assumed that meant at midnight. according to CASE, my resume was updated 7/16/2006 9:59:52 PM. i noticed after i signed up that there were significantly fewer "opportunities" than there were when i started. maybe i even missed signing up for some it turns out b/c the deadline was 10pm. i was only getting home at 9:30 and it took me about 15 minutes to get my word to stop adding lines under everything i typed. thank god i didn't spend any time thinking about what to put on my updated resume. i can't even believe i made it in time. eek. i wonder if i really did miss out on some of them. oh well. like it matters.

yes, i am still awake. i am a moron.

yes, i am still awake doing this

I'M GOING TO GET A SPA! how great would that be the night we all stay in roanoke after we all take the bar? i can just imagine we all get really drunk and someone says, "hey, let's go to laura's room to hang out in the whirlpool spa!" what a great plan.

also, turns out i'm too dumb to use the map on the roanoke visitor's page.

also, turns out that they won't let you book more than a year in advance. so i've got a week to make my choice. oh! i could reserve at both and make my decision later! i just wonder how much they screw us on fares for the bar. and how far in advance they know to screw us for the bar. NO ONE CALL THE HOTELS IN ROANOKE AND TELL THEM THIS! in case they're too stupid to figure it out on their own. hm. well anyways. i'm off to play with more online maps. really the pressing Q is drive/no drive. i think i would rather no drive for the morning, but i also think i might want to be a few miles away from it all. except when i have to be there at 8:30 in the morning. then again, it's not like i'm not freakishly early when i really truly need to be somewhere. there is a reason i spent an hour sitting with derek leach before each of my morning exams. but still.

is it wrong

that it is 1:30am one year and one week before i will be taking the bar and i am awake looking for hotels. so i'm trying to decide if i just want the closest hotel, which is 0.2 miles from the civic center in which the exam is administered. or if i would rather be further out. like at the marriott 3.2 miles away. but then i decided that what would really determine this would be the layout of roanoke. so i am thinking i should drive down to roanoke. b/c the people the other week were talking about food and eating over lunch and do i not want to be driving or is it the sort of place where the only option for these 2 things involves a car or ooooooh so many questions. i should take a cooler. also, i am totally buying myself a cheap-ass (i am talking like $10 here) "suit" with an elastic waistband. and if someone tells me that that is not business attire in the state of VA, i will cry b/c i am poor and/or i have bad fashion sense.

surely there is a better way to learn the layout of a city than to drive down and visit it. shouldn't the internet be able to do that? with a map that is labeled "civic center," "potential hotel #1," "potential hotel #2," "fast food," and "nearest grocery store." that would be great.

also, the virginia bar exam has the shittiest website ever. not to be ungrateful or rude, but "The Virginia Bar Examination is offered every February and July on the last Tuesday before the last Wednesday of the month" is not really a great way to give me the date of the bar exam. how hard would it be to make a chart for the next year or so? and i still haven't found the location of the exam in an easy-to-access location on the page. how hard are these things, you jerks? people want to know. a year in advance. that is legit. we're all going to be LAWYERS, for god's sake. how type A can a group of people be?!?!

i'm sorry, i must be grumpy b/c it is 1:30am and i have not done the thing that i was supposed to do last week that i was supposed to do today that i was supposed to do when i got home. that i will now be supposed to do tomorrow before i leave work.

oh, AND for those of you who didn't know, the AC is STILL not working. today was the day that all the emails said it would be working by. and the start of a week where there is a heat advisory every day and the temperatures will be in the 100s. but most specially--today marks the 3 week anniversary of not having any air conditioning!

Monday, July 17, 2006

a tribute to footwear thru/out law school

so i am going thru all of my photos from the past two years to try to compile pictures so i can print them out and actually make a photo album. and i decided i would be remiss if i did not compile a collection of my infamous footwear shots. tho it seemed silly to do that in an actual photo album. it seemed like i should have had more, but this is all i can offer thus far. i'm sure next year i'll just start bringing a camera to class and taking pictures of sneakers and flip-flops. you know, so that i have a real collection of shoe-wear shots.

another album for which i have more than enough photos is "shots of dellis and laura making horrible faces." i would post those online, but i'm kinda embarassed by easy it is to make my face look terrible.

Sunday, July 16, 2006


so on my way back from my dad's today, i decided to stop by target for a few things. well, two things. a hands-free device for my phone, and some gum. well, my trip reiterated two things we already knew about me.

(1) god i love target. it took me over an hour to buy those two things. i was just wandering around looking at things. people were asking if they could help me and i decided to spare them the whole saga of asking me a yes/no question and having me explain to you how i am just looking at fans even tho i already bought a fan but now i wanted to see if there was a cheaper or better fan, and of course i would then tell him about my 3 weeks w/o AC and about my general love of target. so i didn't do that. but i did spend approximately 10 minutes in every school supplies aisle i saw. i had forgotten that i cannot go to target w/o someone accompanying me to stop me from being tempted by all this shit. and directly related to this is--

(2) i am exactly what people have in mind when they say "impulse buyer." i mean, this comes out nearly every time i go somewhere. for example, i went clothes shopping on friday and wound up buying steve, a new suitcase. yes, my new suitcase is named steve. but it made sense b/c it was 50% off and i was going to ask for one for my bday b/c i need a new small rolling suitcase and i saved $100 and now i can get better things for my bday.

but anyways. back to target. so in addition to my gum and my hands-free, nd keeping in mind that i was curbed by my lack of a shopping cart (thank god), i wound up getting

  • a box of hot tamales, b/c i am now obsessed with these and i cannot walk buy them w/o buying them. they are approximately 50% of what i have consumed in the last week and if you look at me, you can clearly see the 10 pounds of hot tamale weight settling on my midriff. it is not pretty.
  • a copy of "working girl" b/c i walked by a display of DVDs on sale for $5.50, so of course i had to stop and see what was being offered and i remembered how much i loved this movie when lexi and i watched it earlier this year and for $5.50? yea, like i was going to pass that up.
  • a case of 10 12-ounce diet coke bottles. the short fat little bottles that everyone finds so cute. for $2.50!!! i'm sorry. did you hear me?!?!!? that is TWO DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS! that is 12 ounces of soda for 25cents. so i don't think you can really say that's a waste. i'm actually kicking myself for having not bought more. actually, i am planning on making it back to target in the next week to buy more. $2.50! you should all get to target and buy this great soda special!
  • thank you cards. that have spots on them. i love buying cards, but it is stupid. at least thank you cards aren't totally stupid b/c unlike those pretty papers and envelopes i bought last week, despite the fact that i never actually write letters to people, you do have to write thank you cards some times. and you should have a good, generic thank you card that evokes your personality. colorful dots were perfect. but i did spend about 20 minutes in this aisle. b/c i was looking for something for one of those other things about my personality that is crazy. and in the end, what i got was
  • a set of 16 "mini notes" which are cards that are about 2 square inches with their own little 2 square inch envelopes. and they have colorful pictures of vegetables on the front! which is what it took me 20 minutes to pick. well, what i wanted was something to write little notes on, but you know me and how i know exactly what i would like but nothing is quite perfect and then i spend forever agonizing about what is the next best thing. well yes, that's what i do. soooooo i got these ones with vegetables. and i know exactly what i am going to do with them, which is dreadfully dumb, but i cannot tell you b/c i will not have any occassion to do this, save the one reason that is the whole reason i bought a set of 16 of these, but which i may never do b/c it may make me look crazy in the wrong way b/c some times i worry that people don't realize that these are just the sort of things i do and you shouldn't read too much into them. but the point is you will invariably find little vegetabled mini-notes in your mailboxes next year with stupid little messages on the inside. oh just you wait.

and that is what i bought. i apologize for having shared all of that with you. i'm afraid it really is the most interesting thing that happened to me all weekend. well, i also ate scallops. and learned that 6 year olds are gambling these days! kids today! but that is a whole 'nother story.




i fill my car about once a month or so, and so it shocks me EVERY time i do so. and each and every time, i remember the last time i had a car. it was small and gas was about $1.00/gallon. i could fill my empty car for under $10. WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT?!?!?!!?

i am very upset.

in case you could not tell. i know that i am very subtle.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

is there something wrong when

approximately half of your emails come from yourself, emailing documents back and forth from work to home?

also, it is 3:30 and i am still awake and i have not written these things. why am i the slowest worker ever? i am blaming my mother for procreating with my father, who truly is the slowest human being ever. it turns out that sometimes nature wins over nurture.

Monday, July 10, 2006

memo to those responsible for the packaging of wine bottles

label your red wines in red and your white wines in light colors. this way, when laura puts a bottle of wine in the fridge, comes home 2 days later expecting her AC to be working, realizes it is not, and decides that she will make up for this by drinking that lovely bottle of chardonnay she put in the fridge the other day, and she gets her heart set on the light flavor of a white wine, she will not be so crushingly disappointed when she pours her first glass, only to realize that this is a cabernet sauvignon. booooooo. i want a white wine! then again, since i still have work to do, this is probably just as well. but still. booooooo. to the wine and to the lack of AC. and to the fact that i am generally stupid, which is a whole nother story all together.

oh, but yay to my leftover calzone from yesterday. it is still delicious and eating it is bringing me dangerously close to joy. mmmmmmm. god this thing is good. i might have to say screw the work i brought home, watch falcon beach, and force my taste buds to feel like red wine. oh, and the added benefit of this tasty calzone is that it reminds me of the lovely day i spent yesterday with ave, mitch, mer and dellis. yay for good memories with friends!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

more funny

i hope i am not violating any sort of copyright laws, but i will give credit where credit is due, it's just that i think these are too funny and i have not had anything to say in a few days. so credit is due to gene weingarten who writes a weekly humor column at the post and has a weekly chat on tuesdays, where the readers also have great things to say. this one is funny b/c i was discussing the funny things people buy just the other day. my brother's first job was as a bagger at a grocery store and he definitely enjoyed some laughs at the purchases of others.


Shameon, ME: I'm guilty of peeking into other people's shopping carts, seeing what they've bought and mulling over what it means. At the Costco over the weekend, my husband and I saw a guy wheel out two cases of Heineken and two cases of adult diapers. His guess was that the guy had an infirm relative living with him, and he was drinking the Heineys to cope. My take: It was a big sports weekend, and he didn't want to get up out of his Barcalounger to go to the bathroom.

Anyway, I realized that I do this because I suffer from "cart shame." It may have stemmed from the time (again, at Costco) when I ran into a vice president of my division with not a thing in my cart except the 'til-menopause box of Tampax. He appeared not to notice, but I was horrified.

There are times when I stop at the store to grab a couple of things I really need; say, a couple of cucumbers and some Vaseline. But, of course, I can't go to the checkout with those items and risk being the butt of a bag-boy laff-fest. So I toss in a couple of other random items, even if I don't really need them, like Mini-Wheats and hair elastics. Or salad mix and Tide. Whatever will dilute the effect, you know?
So, am I a sick puppy?

Gene Weingarten: This is a form of neurosis I have not yet encountered! It is highly entertaining! I like the vaseline and cucumbers!


Shopping neurosis: You haven't encountered this before? I'm afraid of seeing people I know when I'm at the store buying underwear, because they'll know I'm buying underwear. It's just as bad if I'm buying socks, because socks are near the underwear and they'll think I'm buying underwear. I'll bet it's quite common, which is why there are very few people near the underwear display.

Gene Weingarten: You have to be a girl.

I love girls.


Shopper's Shame: I get the underwear buying shame, too! Even when I know that I could not possibly bump into anyone I know because I am in a department store in a strange city in another country, it still requires a concerted effort before I can bring myself to walk around the underwear department without trying to look as though I am confused and lost and not meant to be there. And I've only started making this effort because my face isn't expressive enough to communicate, "Well, this is a surprise! This is the last place I expected to find myself today. Though, I suppose, now that I'm here, I might causally just buy some underwear. I mean, not that I CAME here to buy underwear."

And when I'm in the supermarket, buying ready-made meals you just have to pop into the oven, I feel I am being judged for being so immature and unwomanly.

Thank you, Gene. It's such a relief to confess at last.

Gene Weingarten: I am guessing there is not a man on Earth who suffers shopping cart shame. I mean, if there is, I'd like to hear from him.

I would happily stroll up to the counter with a watermelon, a hand drill, KY Jelly, and a copy of Penthouse.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

now i remember what laura likes to do in legal memoranda!

string cites! parade of cases! just throw out a bunch of crap b/c you found it, but don't really go into it, just boil it all down to one sentence!

to be fair, i don't think there's much more that needs to be said since this is a yes/no question, but i'm pretty sure that my mentor is going to look at everything i've written and just scratch right thru it.

but in legal writing they always say that you should know your audience and write to them. in this case, my audience is one attorney who needs an answer and one very guilty conscience that needs to be appeased. i think the former is getting a lot of crap that's meant for the latter.

grumble grumble grrrrr

actually, i had a good day. sorta. see, the CA municipal law handbook (aka, the bible) showed up today. the answers contained therein.

but it turns out that i am a moron. basically, i have had the answer all along. but since the answer did not say, "THIS IS YOUR ANSWER LAURA" in front of it, i never figured it out. basically, the handbook pointed me to all the cases and statutes that i had been looking at all along, but i am too dumb to read b/t lines and figure out that if no one tells you that you can't indemnify, well then you can. i had a similar problem on part 2--if no one tells you that you are an exemption from the CPRA, then you are subject to disclosure. so 3 weeks, crying during performance review, and i actually look dumber now that i have an answer.

but then i need to write SOMETHING to try to make up a bit for the fact that i have spent a month on what is a yes/no question. so i decided i would try to write the man a memo. except two things. (1) it is a yes/no question. (2) i have printed out about a foot-high stack worth of documents thru/out this process, none of which i have thrown away, figuring they might be actually be useful. so i had to turn to them.

well it turns out that i am the slowest worker ever. i have alllllll these cases on my desk, and i am trying to read thru all of them, which i had already determined were not really helpful, but then when i found the answer i became convinced that some of them would be helpful, and i have to have this memo in by morning, b/c i said i would, and anyways, let's be honest--i'll never finish it unless i am forced to. and i am now moving thru this stack at a snail's pace, and determining that either (1) they are not helpful, or (2) i have no idea what the fuck is going on in them and how they would be relevant, even tho i think they might be. it sucks.

so after hours of sitting around in the lonely office (i don't know why everyone picked today to go home early and leave me all alone), getting a headache and pretty much producing nothing, i have finally returned home to try to finish it. b/c i have decided that my inability to produce a tangible work product is not my fault. it is my POS firm computer's fault. the stupid screen is so small that you can only have about 2 sentences on the screen at a time. I CANNOT WRITE A DOCUMENT LIKE THAT! so i have returned home, at 10pm, to work on my own computer, which is wonderful. except which is home in my bed. and in my apartment which still does not have air conditioning.

at least it is a 3 day work week.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

pickin' me some classes

so while everyone else enjoys their 4th of july, i sit in my un-ACed apartment trying to pick next year's class schedule. of course, as always, EVERYTHING i want to take is offered during ONE TIME SLOT! bastards. i do not know how the registrar manages to do this every year.

but my second point--so i am looking at these seminar of ethical values things, which i figure are a good way to get to know one professor, since i will probably need someone to have actually known who i was before i leave law school (particularly since i am giving up on applying for clerkships now, which means i will probably do it in the future). anyways, there is one that is open to both law and med school students. now, it's topic isn't of particularly great interest to me, but IT IS OPEN TO MED SCHOOL STUDENTS! what do we think the chances are that i will meet my husband if i take that class? b/c i'm thinking about it for that reason alone.

Saturday, July 01, 2006


so i'm sitting here, bawling over this movie from like 70 years ago and i really didn't know what was going to happen, but the end just happened. minutes before i had thought, "well it can't be over b/c he hasn't said the 'frankly my dear, i don't give a damn." but then he said that. and then she decides to go back to tara. now here's the thing. i knew 2 things about this movie. that line. and i thought that tara burned. so i thought she was going to tara to burn the place down and then he was going to swoop in and save her and love her forever. BUT THEN THE MOVIE ENDED! so i guess tara doesn't burn. AND HE DOESN'T COME BACK AND THEY DON'T LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER AND I WAITED 4 HOURS FOR THAT!?!?!!? THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO LOVE EACH OTHER FOREVER. so now somehow all of that crying about the various ups and downs of their relationship does not seem like it paid off. i am very distraught about this. AREN'T THEY SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER?!?!!? well i thought so, but i guess i was wrong.

oh dear god almighty

so i saw that gone with the wind was on the movie channel, starting at 8 and i figured that i had never seen gone with the wind, so i figured i would do so. perk--turns out TCM doesn't put in commercials. WELL DEAR THANK GOD! B/C IT IS NOW NEARLY 2 HOURS AFTER THE START OF THE MOVIE AND I AM CURRENTLY WATCHING THE "INTERMISSION" SCREEN! THIS IS THE INTERMISSION?!?!??!! HOW LONG CAN THIS MOVIE POSSIBLY BE?!!?! and they're actually playing the intermission screen. and i'm still sitting here watching it, but still. maybe with the advent of modern technologies like television the nice people at TCM could take the time to cut this 10 or 15 minutes out. plus, i am very worried about the fact that we have a very sick woman and a baby who have not eaten in a very long time and we do not have any food. i don't know how we're going to be ok. plus all the other sick people and people who have not eaten in a very long time. i am very worried about them and this movie makes you hope that you are never in the middle of a war. or it makes you realize that you should totally follow thru with that plan you always thought was a joke and move out to the ranch, tho you wish it hadn't burned down that your grandmother's store of years worth of canned goods and thousands of dollars worth of frozen meats had been ruined. you truly could have lived on that ranch for years, before that fire came. maybe i should start re-stocking the ranch. or does that seem like a stupid plan? do you wonder how you got to my discussing stocking the ranch with canned goods from the fact that i could not believe that i was only halfway thru this movie.

OH! it started back up and we seem to be well-fed and healthy. i'm not quite sure how it happened tho. there does seem to be strife tho.

this is funny!

so since my AC has been broken all week and will continue to be broken into next week, and i do not have a boyfriend's apartment at which to stay, i borrowed a fan from eli, which we then drove into the city to my apartment. I SEATBELTED THE FAN INTO THE BACK SEAT! that's funny. and then i took pictures.

someone else on the lexis/westlaw thing

so, i'm starting to think that alllll those people who say that westlaw is the superior research engine may be correct, but i would clearly need to spend more time using it to get better at it and knowing what it does to really know that for sure. this realization came from work. but i like that this guy wrote about it and about the points. fortunately, i won't find myself in his position in a year. i will be getting all sorts of good stuff. and i suppose a wealth of DVDs with my westlaw points.