Target

so on my way back from my dad's today, i decided to stop by target for a few things. well, two things. a hands-free device for my phone, and some gum. well, my trip reiterated two things we already knew about me.

(1) god i love target. it took me over an hour to buy those two things. i was just wandering around looking at things. people were asking if they could help me and i decided to spare them the whole saga of asking me a yes/no question and having me explain to you how i am just looking at fans even tho i already bought a fan but now i wanted to see if there was a cheaper or better fan, and of course i would then tell him about my 3 weeks w/o AC and about my general love of target. so i didn't do that. but i did spend approximately 10 minutes in every school supplies aisle i saw. i had forgotten that i cannot go to target w/o someone accompanying me to stop me from being tempted by all this shit. and directly related to this is--

(2) i am exactly what people have in mind when they say "impulse buyer." i mean, this comes out nearly every time i go somewhere. for example, i went clothes shopping on friday and wound up buying steve, a new suitcase. yes, my new suitcase is named steve. but it made sense b/c it was 50% off and i was going to ask for one for my bday b/c i need a new small rolling suitcase and i saved $100 and now i can get better things for my bday.

but anyways. back to target. so in addition to my gum and my hands-free, nd keeping in mind that i was curbed by my lack of a shopping cart (thank god), i wound up getting

• a box of hot tamales, b/c i am now obsessed with these and i cannot walk buy them w/o buying them. they are approximately 50% of what i have consumed in the last week and if you look at me, you can clearly see the 10 pounds of hot tamale weight settling on my midriff. it is not pretty.
• a copy of "working girl" b/c i walked by a display of DVDs on sale for $5.50, so of course i had to stop and see what was being offered and i remembered how much i loved this movie when lexi and i watched it earlier this year and for $5.50? yea, like i was going to pass that up.
• a case of 10 12-ounce diet coke bottles. the short fat little bottles that everyone finds so cute. for $2.50!!! i'm sorry. did you hear me?!?!!? that is TWO DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS! that is 12 ounces of soda for 25cents. so i don't think you can really say that's a waste. i'm actually kicking myself for having not bought more. actually, i am planning on making it back to target in the next week to buy more. $2.50! you should all get to target and buy this great soda special!
• thank you cards. that have spots on them. i love buying cards, but it is stupid. at least thank you cards aren't totally stupid b/c unlike those pretty papers and envelopes i bought last week, despite the fact that i never actually write letters to people, you do have to write thank you cards some times. and you should have a good, generic thank you card that evokes your personality. colorful dots were perfect. but i did spend about 20 minutes in this aisle. b/c i was looking for something for one of those other things about my personality that is crazy. and in the end, what i got was
• a set of 16 "mini notes" which are cards that are about 2 square inches with their own little 2 square inch envelopes. and they have colorful pictures of vegetables on the front! which is what it took me 20 minutes to pick. well, what i wanted was something to write little notes on, but you know me and how i know exactly what i would like but nothing is quite perfect and then i spend forever agonizing about what is the next best thing. well yes, that's what i do. soooooo i got these ones with vegetables. and i know exactly what i am going to do with them, which is dreadfully dumb, but i cannot tell you b/c i will not have any occassion to do this, save the one reason that is the whole reason i bought a set of 16 of these, but which i may never do b/c it may make me look crazy in the wrong way b/c some times i worry that people don't realize that these are just the sort of things i do and you shouldn't read too much into them. but the point is you will invariably find little vegetabled mini-notes in your mailboxes next year with stupid little messages on the inside. oh just you wait.

and that is what i bought. i apologize for having shared all of that with you. i'm afraid it really is the most interesting thing that happened to me all weekend. well, i also ate scallops. and learned that 6 year olds are gambling these days! kids today! but that is a whole 'nother story.