Monday, January 29, 2007

how are we ever going to make it thru?

so you may have noticed that i have not posted in something like 8 days. which is about 7 days, 14 hours, and 43 minutes longer than i generally go w/o posting. so perhaps you have wondered where i have gone. well, i am still here in cville. the problem is that i am suffering from a general inability to care about ANYTHING.

so this initially made sense, when it was just about classes and reading. but that didn't mean it wasn't unsettling. i mean, it's so bad that i DIDN'T EVEN ADD OR DROP CLASSES DURING DROP/ADD! which is about 14 classes less than i add during that period normally. (ok, to be totally honest, i did add a class the day b/f classes began, b/c rob was upset we didn't have any classes t/g and there was one spot open in his TR 10:30, and i figured that sitting next to rob for 3 hours a week wasn't any sillier of a reason to sign up for a class than any of the other reasons i had used.) and then i did drop one class, b/c i was holding on to an extra one, just to see what classes i would prefer. only that class was at 3pm and i wasn't sure i could bring myself to stick around the LS til 3pm to check it out on the first day. which i figured was not a very good sign that i'd be willing to stick around 2 days a week to attend it. out the window it went. but as for the other classes, a couple of which i think will be AWFUL, well i kept them b/c i figured that the other option was to go to the effort of looking for new classes. and as tho that weren't enough of a reason to dissuade me, i kinda figured that past experience had taught me i'd probably wind up in 2 classes that sucked as much as the ones that i had dropped. so stay i did.

but over the past week, i have learned that this general lack of enthusiasm is extending to all sorts of other areas of my life. i can't bring myself to blog. i didn't feel like attending a power hour last thursday. it's been harder to get me to the gym. i don't want to take the time to learn my lines for my libel show audition. i don't want to schedule the 1L oral arguments (you may think this makes sense, only THIS IS THE SORT OF CRAP I LOVE TO DO! ORGANIZE A SCHEDULE! WITH 1LS! IT IS LIKE HEAVEN!!) i don't even feel like sitting around in scott commons and talking with people at lunch! hell, i'm not even watching tv! my netflix selections from pre-christmas are still sitting around, taunting me about the $15 a month i continue to waste. i'm not even accruing lexis and westlaw points! i don't do fact or fiction every day, and i haven't even signed on to westlaw since the semester began AND i even cancelled a training session! sometimes i wonder if this is even still me! really, i have no idea what i'm doing with my 24 hours a day, but my rough estimation is that it involves about 16 hours of sleeping, about 3 complaining to my friends about my general malaise, and approximately 4 days a week it involves another 5 hours of consuming beer.

but it has just reached a level that even i had never anticipated. a level that even i did not think was possible. and i have experienced some senioritis in the past. but this is a new low.

i can't bring myself to make pretty signs. i have markers and posterboard, and i am just WRITING on the posterboard! in BROWN! i made these exact same signs one year ago and there were bright colors and bubble letters and the handwriting screamed out from the white background with joy! you could see the enthusiasm everywhere on the paper. but not this year. it's like times new roman, font size 87. in brown, to make it even more boring.

the day when laura has paper and markers at her disposal and she is not the happiest girl in the world....well it is a sad day for all mankind. if you do not see me in class tomorrow, it is b/c i am mourning the death of everything i once thought true about myself. alas cruel world!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any you're not even studying for the bar/at the firm yet...

11:18 PM  
Blogger Lexi said...

This makes me sad. I need to go get some coloring books and/or construction paper, and we will break out the crayons. Too bad we don't have class together. We could color all through class. Because it's not like we're aying any damn attention anyhoo.

Speaking of that, I should pay attention in fed courts.

9:27 AM  

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