the wig/hairpiece era
well, if they didn't drop off during hats and glasses, then they most likely dropped out at wigs/hairpieces.
i myself quite enjoyed this phase. i have always been enamored by ms. toni on QVC when she sells her hairpieces. see, i have thin hair and the idea of fooling people into believing that i have thick, beautiful, voluminous hair--well that appeals to me in a way that has me staring at my television with rapt attention for like 30 minutes at a time. also, ms. toni is kinda crazy in that way that makes good tv b/c it's so awful you can't quit staring at it. she's like 50 years old, but thinks she is 20-something and has totally blonde hair and overdone nails and she calls everyone "girls." "girls, you are going to love this product! you had better call soon, girls, b/c this color is selling out fast!" (i don't know if i'm making this all up, but this is how i remember her. maybe her name isn't even ms. toni.)
anyways, on a slow weekend evening, i drag saunders off to the CVS with me and we spend us some time in the hairpiece aisle. there aren't really many options, but it is clear that a hairpiece is the way to go about this b/c it's easy and convenient and kinda blends in, but mostly, b/c once again, we'll avoid the sweaty head problem. (what can i say, i'm a sweater.) after about an hour of perusing the options at CVS, we conclude that wal-mart will have more choices, but that's bullshit and all they've got there is a crazy curly green wig for st. patty's day. which may look like a log of fun, but it's going to annoy the crap out of me pretty quickly when my head starts to sweat. so after about another 30 minutes of my debating between the two final options, we buy my hairpieces. i can hardly wait to wear them.
oooh, and wear them i did. how i loved them. they were beautiful. they were darker than my normal hair color and had these terrible little braids in them and i can't figure out why anyone thought that this would be the product they should market. but the thing wasn’t terribly noticeable in my hair, tho i will admit that the 2 times i felt stupid were (1) when i went to a hair salon to run an errand, (2) after i had gone up at the end of class to speak to a prof, he had complimented me on a good job in class, and i turned around, only to have this wig in my hair and the word “TORTFZR” emblazoned across my back. ok, so the latter was probably more embarrassing, particularly b/c we were in mass torts. but anyways.
i would carry on, but then i remembered what i did to get to my next target (lexi and i kinda swore to secrecy, but i'm going to violate that in the next post) and it totally warrants its own post.
i myself quite enjoyed this phase. i have always been enamored by ms. toni on QVC when she sells her hairpieces. see, i have thin hair and the idea of fooling people into believing that i have thick, beautiful, voluminous hair--well that appeals to me in a way that has me staring at my television with rapt attention for like 30 minutes at a time. also, ms. toni is kinda crazy in that way that makes good tv b/c it's so awful you can't quit staring at it. she's like 50 years old, but thinks she is 20-something and has totally blonde hair and overdone nails and she calls everyone "girls." "girls, you are going to love this product! you had better call soon, girls, b/c this color is selling out fast!" (i don't know if i'm making this all up, but this is how i remember her. maybe her name isn't even ms. toni.)
anyways, on a slow weekend evening, i drag saunders off to the CVS with me and we spend us some time in the hairpiece aisle. there aren't really many options, but it is clear that a hairpiece is the way to go about this b/c it's easy and convenient and kinda blends in, but mostly, b/c once again, we'll avoid the sweaty head problem. (what can i say, i'm a sweater.) after about an hour of perusing the options at CVS, we conclude that wal-mart will have more choices, but that's bullshit and all they've got there is a crazy curly green wig for st. patty's day. which may look like a log of fun, but it's going to annoy the crap out of me pretty quickly when my head starts to sweat. so after about another 30 minutes of my debating between the two final options, we buy my hairpieces. i can hardly wait to wear them.
oooh, and wear them i did. how i loved them. they were beautiful. they were darker than my normal hair color and had these terrible little braids in them and i can't figure out why anyone thought that this would be the product they should market. but the thing wasn’t terribly noticeable in my hair, tho i will admit that the 2 times i felt stupid were (1) when i went to a hair salon to run an errand, (2) after i had gone up at the end of class to speak to a prof, he had complimented me on a good job in class, and i turned around, only to have this wig in my hair and the word “TORTFZR” emblazoned across my back. ok, so the latter was probably more embarrassing, particularly b/c we were in mass torts. but anyways.
i would carry on, but then i remembered what i did to get to my next target (lexi and i kinda swore to secrecy, but i'm going to violate that in the next post) and it totally warrants its own post.
posted by laura at 2:01 AM
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