my second failure

we're now on the vegetable immunity. within the first few minutes of walking around the LS, i think that wearing a vegetable around my neck may actually hurt my dignity. (i had never even known i had dignity. little did i know that over the next few weeks i would learn that it was clearly not the vegetable that would hurt my dignity. actually, over the next few weeks i come to learn that i don't have dignity.) but i warm up pretty quickly to wearing a stick of celery around my neck. it may actually take more of a toll on the dignity of my friends. by the time i attend a basketball game with friends in from out of town, it doesn't bother me at all. maybe it didn't bother them either. i suppose that when you're friends with me, those things don't really surprise you. (really, if you're friends with me i make you say these things are "endearing." if you don't say it, i put the words in your mouth. i also make it clear that if you don't say nice things, i will make you regret it. most likely with whining. or really rapid-fire chatter about things you don't want to have to listen to.)

anyways, it's during the vegetable immunity that i learn that i am too timid an assassin. rada was quite an immunity wearer, but i see her walking to ivy as i was walking from class, i don’t see immunity, mention it to her b/c i’m a moron and she does know that i’m who’s supposed to kill her, and she says that it’s in her pocket and she’s on her phone. well that was my chance, wasn’t it? not visible = can kill? dammit, i’m a moron. well, and i had left my sock in last night’s coat. still, a moron. this would haunt me, and would become the first instance of needing to redouble my efforts and triple my creepy in an attempt to kill someone who had thwarted me b/c of my own shortcomings.