christmas wrap-up
first and foremost, MERRY CHRISTMAS!! or i hope that everyone had a merry christmas, since i am posting this late in the evening.
and on to the actual post....
i unwrapped 4 presents today, and three of them were totally worth mocking in a public forum. when i told my mom that all of my christmas gifts would be featured prominently in a blog post, she said it figures, since i have spent years complaining about what i have received, and now i am just doing it in a more public forum. (actually, that wasn't what she said. she said she wasn't sure if she should be insulted, or pleased that she was giving me material. i said at least this wasn't the great thermometer incident of 1995.) so here is what all i got today.
1. an awesome camera, about which i cannot complain at all, and a few accoutrements for said camera, about which i can also not complain at all. if you think the pictures in the future are of far higher quality than previous photos, or if you are my friend and you no longer have to smile for approximately 31 seconds before the final flash goes off, well you can say thank you to my parents for their wonderful christmas gift.
however, they felt the need to get a few other things to put in boxes. the thing about me is that i am impossible to shop for. and that i don't need anything. and my parents have years of experience with this. which would explain why the following picture is 2 of my remaining 3 gifts:
2. a 100 piece puzzle of happy feet, which as a fringe benefit, GLOWS IN THE DARK! and of course it's already done b/c how long do you think a puzzle designed for the average 8 year old really takes. well, it was totally fun. then i made them turn off all the lights and watch it glow in the dark.
3. what looks to be some device with which to inseminate a cow. adding to this impression is the fact that the box was "to: laura, from: mom, daddy, kelly, ellen, and U.B." "U.B." is my uncle brian, who is a cattle rancher and does have all the appropriate equipment to artificially inseminate a cow. kelly and ellen are my parents' best friends, who recently drove out to the ranch for a week with my parents. all of this kinda points to the fact that dear god, what is this they have given me?!?
oh but even better than a cow impregnator, it's portable sharps dispensers! see, i'm diabetic and tho i do not believe that appropriate sharps disposal is very important, they stayed in a hotel near an indian reservation during the same trip and said that these were provided in all of the rooms, because of the high incidence of diabetics amongst native americans. so they each took theirs from their room and then wrapped them up as a christmas present for their favorite daughter/friend's daughter/niece. and that explains that.
4. well if you know me at all, you know that of course i received a "god book," to add to the unread collection on my shelf. only this year, my mom has wisened up. she is no longer giving us god books that she has read and thinks are worth our reading. no! indeed! she is now reading the book, buying us each a copy, and then HIGHLIGHTING THE COPY SHE IS GIVING US, so we can just skim thru and find the passages that should really speak to us. ah yes, it's reading/god-enlightening at its best. so that is my absolute favorite. (that was when i told her i would be blogging about xmas.)
anyways, my other favorite gift, which is not mine but my mother's, is a day-by-day calendar that teaches you a new spanish phrase every day. see, my sister has been living and working in honduras for the last year and a half and my parents are trying to learn the language. well i tell you, this calendar has already taught me so much, i'm hoping we all go visit in a year. it starts out nice and simple--Jan. 1 is "happy new year!" and jan. 2 is "what are your new year's resolutions?" well that's when it gets good. jan. 3 is "i gave up chocolate and ice cream this year." it goes on and on and on like this, and i thought i would check my birthday, you know, just to see. actually, aug. 10 is just "i am on a low-carb diet." but aug. 12 is my favorite--"i'm not permitted to have cheese on my diet." well i thought that was a hoot. also very practical, since the people in the village where my sister is doing her mission work subsist solely on tortillas and beans and if you are visiting you probably do not need to worry either about consuming excessive carbohydrates or cheese. alas. at least their spanish will also travel well to resort villages.
and on to the actual post....
i unwrapped 4 presents today, and three of them were totally worth mocking in a public forum. when i told my mom that all of my christmas gifts would be featured prominently in a blog post, she said it figures, since i have spent years complaining about what i have received, and now i am just doing it in a more public forum. (actually, that wasn't what she said. she said she wasn't sure if she should be insulted, or pleased that she was giving me material. i said at least this wasn't the great thermometer incident of 1995.) so here is what all i got today.
1. an awesome camera, about which i cannot complain at all, and a few accoutrements for said camera, about which i can also not complain at all. if you think the pictures in the future are of far higher quality than previous photos, or if you are my friend and you no longer have to smile for approximately 31 seconds before the final flash goes off, well you can say thank you to my parents for their wonderful christmas gift.
however, they felt the need to get a few other things to put in boxes. the thing about me is that i am impossible to shop for. and that i don't need anything. and my parents have years of experience with this. which would explain why the following picture is 2 of my remaining 3 gifts:
2. a 100 piece puzzle of happy feet, which as a fringe benefit, GLOWS IN THE DARK! and of course it's already done b/c how long do you think a puzzle designed for the average 8 year old really takes. well, it was totally fun. then i made them turn off all the lights and watch it glow in the dark.
3. what looks to be some device with which to inseminate a cow. adding to this impression is the fact that the box was "to: laura, from: mom, daddy, kelly, ellen, and U.B." "U.B." is my uncle brian, who is a cattle rancher and does have all the appropriate equipment to artificially inseminate a cow. kelly and ellen are my parents' best friends, who recently drove out to the ranch for a week with my parents. all of this kinda points to the fact that dear god, what is this they have given me?!?
oh but even better than a cow impregnator, it's portable sharps dispensers! see, i'm diabetic and tho i do not believe that appropriate sharps disposal is very important, they stayed in a hotel near an indian reservation during the same trip and said that these were provided in all of the rooms, because of the high incidence of diabetics amongst native americans. so they each took theirs from their room and then wrapped them up as a christmas present for their favorite daughter/friend's daughter/niece. and that explains that.
4. well if you know me at all, you know that of course i received a "god book," to add to the unread collection on my shelf. only this year, my mom has wisened up. she is no longer giving us god books that she has read and thinks are worth our reading. no! indeed! she is now reading the book, buying us each a copy, and then HIGHLIGHTING THE COPY SHE IS GIVING US, so we can just skim thru and find the passages that should really speak to us. ah yes, it's reading/god-enlightening at its best. so that is my absolute favorite. (that was when i told her i would be blogging about xmas.)
anyways, my other favorite gift, which is not mine but my mother's, is a day-by-day calendar that teaches you a new spanish phrase every day. see, my sister has been living and working in honduras for the last year and a half and my parents are trying to learn the language. well i tell you, this calendar has already taught me so much, i'm hoping we all go visit in a year. it starts out nice and simple--Jan. 1 is "happy new year!" and jan. 2 is "what are your new year's resolutions?" well that's when it gets good. jan. 3 is "i gave up chocolate and ice cream this year." it goes on and on and on like this, and i thought i would check my birthday, you know, just to see. actually, aug. 10 is just "i am on a low-carb diet." but aug. 12 is my favorite--"i'm not permitted to have cheese on my diet." well i thought that was a hoot. also very practical, since the people in the village where my sister is doing her mission work subsist solely on tortillas and beans and if you are visiting you probably do not need to worry either about consuming excessive carbohydrates or cheese. alas. at least their spanish will also travel well to resort villages.
posted by laura at 11:19 PM
2 Comments:
Yes, thanks to your parents for the new camera. Now I want a new camera, since mine is about as slow as your old one, but I hate to buy new technology until the old has completely died. And even then I have problems believing that I actually might have to buy a new one and I deny deny deny and I go to great lengths to get the old technology fixed but everywhere I go they tell me it is cheaper to buy a new one that will be a million times better than the refurbished old one.
Sigh.
Well, merry Christmas! I'm waiting for my parents to leave to post about Christmas.
Merry belated-Christmas! I think the world needs more details about the "great thermometer incident of 1995."
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