my farewell
well, i really have enjoyed this game. probably too much. really, there is no doubt that i took it too seriously. and i thank all of you who were still willing to talk to me in the hallways, even when this became abundantly clear. i met a lot of great people, both other participants and those who wondered why the hell i was wearing (name your poison here.)
on the one hand, i'm quite pleased with myself for being such a deadly assassin. i would detail some of my favorite tactics, but i think it's best that you don't know how creepy i am. there is little doubt that if there were a prize for creepiest kills, i would win the top five prizes. but i don't want you all to feel unsafe in your own homes, so i'll omit those details. and on the other hand, i want to apologize to those of you whom i let down. every time you kill someone, they tell you that you have to go on to win the game. and since i killed 1/6 of the playing field, it's pretty clear i let a number of you down. i had eliminated 3 of the 5 finalists, all in anticipation of going mano a mano with the girl who had been hunting me since about the hat and glasses immunity. i had been on the alert all day, sock in hand, and my own socking came at a moment of uncharacteristic weakness. but it's a game that preys on weakness and my time had clearly come. so i apologize to those of you who lost your money on the vegas odds.
in the interest of over-sentimentality, i'd like to thank my friends. to all of the "agent potatoes," both formal and informal. my identification skills are pretty pathetic and it's only with a team of accomplices that i could ever match up a lawweb photo with a real person. to those who swaddled me in polo shirts and let me carry their tennis rackets. to those who would still go in public with me with toilet paper streaming from my shoe. to he who engaged in my sock throwing/dodging exercises for an hour in his apartment. to he who (on his own initiative) left me in his car, walking the stairs from the basement to the third floor, making sure i wouldn't die on my way into the apartment. you all deal with my crazy every day, but thanks for dealing with 5 times the normal crazy for the past 6 weeks.
in conclusion, i suppose the last month and a half has taught me a lot. i learned that after you wear celery around your neck for a few days, you actually miss it as an accessory when it's gone. i learned that approximately 90% of the people in the law school will tell you when you have something dragging behind your shoe; this is very endearing the first few times it happens, but by the 500th it's pretty frickin' annoying. i learned that i do like polo shirts, and that i shouldn't be so tempted every time that ms. toni infomercial comes on to try to sell me hairpieces. i learned that a random family with an infant will invite you in for a "warm place to study" as you sit under the stairs at someone's apartment, lurking for her to return home. but the main lesson i learned is that everyone has a little bit of crazy in them; i happen to have a whole lot.
on the one hand, i'm quite pleased with myself for being such a deadly assassin. i would detail some of my favorite tactics, but i think it's best that you don't know how creepy i am. there is little doubt that if there were a prize for creepiest kills, i would win the top five prizes. but i don't want you all to feel unsafe in your own homes, so i'll omit those details. and on the other hand, i want to apologize to those of you whom i let down. every time you kill someone, they tell you that you have to go on to win the game. and since i killed 1/6 of the playing field, it's pretty clear i let a number of you down. i had eliminated 3 of the 5 finalists, all in anticipation of going mano a mano with the girl who had been hunting me since about the hat and glasses immunity. i had been on the alert all day, sock in hand, and my own socking came at a moment of uncharacteristic weakness. but it's a game that preys on weakness and my time had clearly come. so i apologize to those of you who lost your money on the vegas odds.
in the interest of over-sentimentality, i'd like to thank my friends. to all of the "agent potatoes," both formal and informal. my identification skills are pretty pathetic and it's only with a team of accomplices that i could ever match up a lawweb photo with a real person. to those who swaddled me in polo shirts and let me carry their tennis rackets. to those who would still go in public with me with toilet paper streaming from my shoe. to he who engaged in my sock throwing/dodging exercises for an hour in his apartment. to he who (on his own initiative) left me in his car, walking the stairs from the basement to the third floor, making sure i wouldn't die on my way into the apartment. you all deal with my crazy every day, but thanks for dealing with 5 times the normal crazy for the past 6 weeks.
in conclusion, i suppose the last month and a half has taught me a lot. i learned that after you wear celery around your neck for a few days, you actually miss it as an accessory when it's gone. i learned that approximately 90% of the people in the law school will tell you when you have something dragging behind your shoe; this is very endearing the first few times it happens, but by the 500th it's pretty frickin' annoying. i learned that i do like polo shirts, and that i shouldn't be so tempted every time that ms. toni infomercial comes on to try to sell me hairpieces. i learned that a random family with an infant will invite you in for a "warm place to study" as you sit under the stairs at someone's apartment, lurking for her to return home. but the main lesson i learned is that everyone has a little bit of crazy in them; i happen to have a whole lot.
posted by laura at 11:28 PM
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