sometimes, even a very drunk girl finds a bone
or something like that.
so tiffany had a friend come into town for foxfields. a friend who LOVES to regale people with the tale of the time this summer when tiffany fell on her face and cut open her chin. he thinks this is hysterical. so ajeet, tiff, and i were discussing how if he were to tell us that story, we should just be really quiet, so there was an awkward and uncomfortable pause, making it very clear that stories about our friend hurting herself were not at all welcome. later, before i went to sleep that night, i even contemplated exactly the words i would use to make this point very clear. after all, i don’t do subtle well. give me a pregnant pause, meant to create a precise effect, and i’ll probably giggle. but give me an angry diatribe and it’s much more natural.
but, as you know, i forget much of yesterday. so i IMed tiff today, telling her how sad i was that korey had never said anything at all about her falling and hurting herself.
turns out i was mistaken, and that he made that very remark to me.
tiffanyuva: korey did bring up the chin thing
tiffanyuva: TO YOU
so now i’m very worried. i had such a perfectly laid plan! and i was so drunk. i’m sure i laughed heartily and told him it was a great story. ooooh, i would be so disappointed in myself. the best laid plans and all that.
but NO! it turns out i was great!
tiffanyuva: and you were FANTASTIC
tiffanyuva: i started laughing
tiffanyuva: because you were so serious
tiffanyuva: you just stared at him
tiffanyuva: and was quiet
tiffanyuva: and then you were like
tiffanyuva: you know korey, i dont think its very funny when my good friend falls and hurts herself
tiffanyuva: it was so good
so i would just like to pat myself on the back for having scripted myself so flawlessly that even tho i was so drunk i could not keep my cup upright, or censor the things i said to my friends, or any number of other things that i wish i had been able to do, i DID manage to put korey in his place! yay for me. also, i love the mental image of me doing this. i think it might even be better that i was so drunk that this could not have possibly been a perfectly laid plan meant to ensnare this person from telling this cruel story in the future. tho i doubt it really did that either. but still.
so tiffany had a friend come into town for foxfields. a friend who LOVES to regale people with the tale of the time this summer when tiffany fell on her face and cut open her chin. he thinks this is hysterical. so ajeet, tiff, and i were discussing how if he were to tell us that story, we should just be really quiet, so there was an awkward and uncomfortable pause, making it very clear that stories about our friend hurting herself were not at all welcome. later, before i went to sleep that night, i even contemplated exactly the words i would use to make this point very clear. after all, i don’t do subtle well. give me a pregnant pause, meant to create a precise effect, and i’ll probably giggle. but give me an angry diatribe and it’s much more natural.
but, as you know, i forget much of yesterday. so i IMed tiff today, telling her how sad i was that korey had never said anything at all about her falling and hurting herself.
turns out i was mistaken, and that he made that very remark to me.
tiffanyuva: korey did bring up the chin thing
tiffanyuva: TO YOU
so now i’m very worried. i had such a perfectly laid plan! and i was so drunk. i’m sure i laughed heartily and told him it was a great story. ooooh, i would be so disappointed in myself. the best laid plans and all that.
but NO! it turns out i was great!
tiffanyuva: and you were FANTASTIC
tiffanyuva: i started laughing
tiffanyuva: because you were so serious
tiffanyuva: you just stared at him
tiffanyuva: and was quiet
tiffanyuva: and then you were like
tiffanyuva: you know korey, i dont think its very funny when my good friend falls and hurts herself
tiffanyuva: it was so good
so i would just like to pat myself on the back for having scripted myself so flawlessly that even tho i was so drunk i could not keep my cup upright, or censor the things i said to my friends, or any number of other things that i wish i had been able to do, i DID manage to put korey in his place! yay for me. also, i love the mental image of me doing this. i think it might even be better that i was so drunk that this could not have possibly been a perfectly laid plan meant to ensnare this person from telling this cruel story in the future. tho i doubt it really did that either. but still.
posted by laura at 11:32 PM
2 Comments:
Ah, Laura, I wish I had been there. You must have been such a riot. I agree that stories of your friends hurting themselves are not funny. OK, me falling on the ice was a little funny after the fact, OK, maybe it wasn't. Aaron never laughs about that, only I do, mostly because I cried in front of the entire 1L class and you have to laugh at that.
YOU SPLIT YOUR HEAD OPEN IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS, 2 MONTHS IN! THAT IS NOT FUNNY! anything where you cannot pick yourself up and dust yourself off and go on about your day is not funny. tiff falling while drunk is more funny than you on the ice.
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