i am a mess

yes, i know that i whine about this enough, but it has truly consumed my life and the thing is that i am so worried about this that i am unable to think about anything else and it is really bad and i feel stressed out all the time, but i don't know what to do about it. i am supposed to have been writing this motion for a whole week and i have nothing. to some degree, this is b/c i am paralyzed, to some degree it is b/c i have no idea what to do, and to some degree it is b/c i am a lazy slug. oh, and to some degree it is b/c out of every work day there are about 4 hours of other stuff we are supposed to be doing and that really eats into your work day. particularly when you can't get yourself to show up early or stay late. so i am basically worthless on fridays and today was no exception. and i had accepted that and resigned myself to it and was so tired all day and figured that i would just go home early and take a nap and maybe even wake up and get some stuff done this evening or at the very least, well i have to go in this weekend and produce some tangible work product, tho i still have no idea what i am supposed to be doing. and at lunch, a partner was telling me about some sort of virginia case law that would be relevant. case law?!?! there's supposed to be case law?!?! shit! no one told me that. [so you know what i did? i told him i was getting a drink and ran away. smooth.] anyways, i am so terrified of not finishing this project that i wanted to leave the office in the middle of the day and just never go back. but that's not going to happen. unfortunately. so this is just me continuing to freak out about this in a public forum. OH! except i forgot the last part. so i was going to leave early, right? except i walked by another summer's office on my way out and she made me stay for an hour and a half and help her finish her project! a project that i could have done! and that she kept yelling at me as i made suggestions. but i was helping! and then, by the time i got to leave, i was no longer tired and i was feeling like being productive, but i couldn't get on board with doing my own thing and i had to come home to nap and oh look, i am still freaking out about all of this. how high can you have your blood pressure for how long b/f you just die?